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Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…

Making tough decisions is a part of living life.  We all go through it.  We all have to bear that burden.  We put off decisions that we don’t know the answer to, and it ends up making things worse.

What happens when you put off a decision?  Eventually it will be made for you, whether you like it or not.  Don’t give up your power like that.  Don’t let someone make the decisions for you.  You are a powerful human being that is in charge of your own life.

You might tell me that God is in charge, or some other deity.  My personal belief is presbyterian christianity, and while I believe in predestination, I also believe that God has given us free will to act as we see fit.  He may influence us one way or another, but ultimately it’s up to us to follow Him or not.  (And yes, He knows what we are going to do ahead of time, so if you decide to disobey, He has planned for your disobedience as well.  But trust me, you won’t be as happy.)

So ultimately, it comes down to your own free will, and using your power to exercise your free will.

If there is nothing else that you get from this article, please get that.  You have the power to create the reality that you wish.  You have the power to create happiness.  You have the power to create joy.  You have the power to create relationships.  You have the power to create money.  YOU have the power.

Let me ask you a question.  Are you happy with your life?  Do you wake up every day with a smile on your face, and joy in your heart?  Do you live a life that isn’t held down by scarcity?

I hate to break it to you, but those of us who try and don’t give up, few of us actually make it to that state.

And if you aren’t in that state of life, you have no one to blame but yourself.  Bad things may have happened to you, you may have been born with disabilities, and any number of setbacks may be in your life.  But ultimately it is your responsibility and your right to create the life that you want.  You may have to go through some of the hardest times of your life to get there, but don’t give up.  You have the power and the ability.

One of the key areas of exercising your power to create the life that you want is in the realm of decision-making.  As I said earlier, put off a decision and it will be made for you, and you will live in a state of restlessness until then.

Don’t let that happen.  Go ahead and make that decision that you’ve been putting off.  It can be anything from should I break up with my significant other to should we let grandma continue living on life support.  Go ahead and make the decision.  It is your responsibility, and if you wait too long it will be made for you and there will be nothing that you can do about it then.  Use the time that you’ve been given to make the decision that you want.

That being said, decision-making is one of the hardest things that we do in this life.  It dictates where we go, what we see, who we love, how much money we make, nearly everything.  And to make wise decisions you are going to have to practice at it.  (Yes, I said practice.)

Practice the techniques that I’m getting ready to give you on small decisions and see if you are happy with the outcome.  Progress from there to bigger decisions.  This causes a kind of double win situation.  Because on the one hand you are strengthening your decision making ability to make wise decisions, and on the other hand you are making wise decisions that are improving the quality of your life.

1.  Follow your Gut

Instinct is something that we all have been blessed with.  And it isn’t always right, but it will normally steer you in the safest direction.  That being said, the safest direction isn’t always the wisest direction.

If you follow your gut all of the time, it will lead you down routes that never make your use your courage or bravery.  You will learn to be a coward instead.

To circumvent this, learn how to train your gut to give you the best decision.  Learn what the best decisions are from studying from your mistakes and successes as well as the mistakes and successes of other people, and make those decisions whether or not the coincide with your gut instinct.  (I would listen to your gut to tailor the decision though.  It has an uncanny ability for being at least partially right.)

If you do this enough times you will find that your gut instinct will start making the best decisions instead of the safest decisions.  Rinse and Repeat.

2.  Make a Split Decision

If you’re lost on what to do and you keep going back and forth between what is the right thing to do, make a split decision.  Ask a friend to sit down with you and ask you a question related to the decision at hand.

Say you can’t decide whether or not you want to break up with your current significant other, have a friend ask you what you want to do about with the situation, whether it be break up with them or decide to work things out.  Say the absolute first thing that comes to mind.  Typically, it’s what you truly desire.

This strategy works by putting a time pressure on the brain, making it think that it has to go with whatever answer you give, so it does some quick calculations, takes your feelings into account, and gives you it’s best answer for what you truly desire.

This decision making technique has helped me out in many circumstances, and I don’t hesitate to use it because I’ve been pleased with the results.

3.  Make a Fake Decision

Instead of debating back on forth on what you should do, just pick one.  Seriously, give it your best guess and make the decision in your mind.  Often times if you’ve made the wrong decision little alarms will go of on your mind to take the other route.

I’ve used this technique to make decisions about whether or not I want I reese’s cup or snickers, to whether or not I should invest in a thousand dollar online course.

After you’ve made the decision, start to carry it out and see how you feel.  If you still have no alarms, then you are more than likely good to go.  If you start getting a bad feeling about it, then you need to go down the other route and see if you have any negative feelings as you are carrying it out.

If you have bad feelings in both areas, that means that there is a third option that you aren’t exploring that you need to.  The reason for your indecision is that your mind is waiting for a decision that both satisfies it’s logic as well as your spirit/emotions.  Look through your close-mindedness and see the third option.  It’s there, I promise you.

4.  Make a Pro’s and Con’s list

This technique is old school, but it still works.  Sitting down and writing out a pro’s and con’s list on a sheet of paper will give you clearer insight than if you try to make the decision in your head.

Rule of Thumb:  If the problem can be written down on paper, it can be solved on paper.

Write down your pro’s and con’s and see how you feel about the decision then.  In many circumstances one decision will clearly outweigh the other in positive results, and you will go with that decision.

5.  Journal It

If you’ve never kept a journal, now is the time to start.  Nearly all of the leader’s in every field keep some sort of journal to record their thoughts, ideas, and breakthroughs.  I highly suggest daily journaling.  It clears your mind from clutter, organizes it, and usually gives tremendous insight into current circumstances.

If you are having a problem with a decision, sit down and journal about it.  Write everything that you think and feel about the decision, and your thoughts will usually follow through to a conclusion, which is your final decision.

Getting out all of your fears, ideas, expectations, and worries about an idea on paper usually helps you see clearly.

Writing things out also helps you think in a linear fashion, which is useful for problem solving because you end up chasing all of your mind’s rabbit trails on the subject and removing them from the equation, leaving you with the facts spelled out in front of you in black and white.

6.  Set a Timer

Personal development blogger Steve Pavlina tries to take less than 60 seconds to make decisions.  If he finds himself deliberating longer than that, he will set a timer for 60 seconds and make a decision by the time the alarm goes off.

And then he sticks to it.

This technique uses a combination of time pressure and split decision making.

Using this method also gets you geared to make quick decisions that you have to stick with and be happy with.  Because once the timer goes off, whatever decision you’ve come to you must stick with.

You will quickly learn from your mistakes and start to make better decisions.

(And yes, I have used this method with great results.)

7. Follow the Path with a Heart

When all else fails and I still feel stuck on what to do, I follow the path with a heart.  I choose the path that gives back the most, the path the benefits others the most (as well as myself.)  The best example I can give of this is my recent decision to restart and revamp my blog.

For the past 9 months or so of this blog’s life I have been mostly focused on drawing traffic, trying to make a sale, and build an e-mail list.  I’ve been focusing on doing what every successful person on the internet tells you to do.  (Well, nearly every successful person on the internet…)

And all I have to show for it is dismal traffic, no sales, no leads, and no money.  More importantly, I’ve had no fulfillment in my work.  I’ve been empty inside.  I chose the path that would seem the most logical, and it got me no where.

Then I decided the follow the path with a heart.  I decided to start giving away my best content.  I decided to start making resources for bloggers that were useful, practical, and FREE.  Who knows, I may decide at some point to start making and selling an ebook or course of some sort.  But I know that I would only do so if I felt that the content was truly 10x what I was charging for it.

I realized that I’m not into blogging and entrepreneurship to make money, that’s just not a driving motivator for me.  I want to make something beautiful for everyone to benefit from.  I want to help people grow.  I want to further myself.  I want to go to work every day excited as hell to get the day started.

So my last piece of advice on decision-making is this.  When you have tried everything you can think of to make a decision, and it still doesn’t help.  Follow the path with the heart.

And remember, most decisions that you make can be undone and changed.  Besides, you benefit more from the mistakes that you makes anyway…

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